


The Mockingjay Blues

by JHsgf82



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes feels, Canon Related, F/M, Fluff, Katniss has a little Lucy Gray in her, Lucy Gray feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25063303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JHsgf82/pseuds/JHsgf82
Summary: Based on the fluff prompt:  “They told me that you’d break my heart but, holy shit, they never said it’d feel like this.”(AU) Katniss runs into Peeta after a three-year separation.  Oh, and by the way, she broke his heart.
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26





	The Mockingjay Blues

**Author's Note:**

  * For [omercilessmoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/omercilessmoon/gifts).



> This is an AU with some nods/similarities to canon. Also, not sure why, but it came out as a little bit of a mix between THG and TBOSAS (no, don’t be scared off if you didn’t like TBOSAS or haven’t read it. It’s very subtle, and you’ll only get it if you’ve read it). Just to note, Katniss might seem slightly OOC, but it is AU.
> 
> Also, Happy 4th of July!

Acoustic guitar in hand, Katniss took a seat on the wooden stool that’d been set out for her in the small campus coffeehouse and bakery. Slipping the leather guitar strap around her neck, she settled in. She took a few picks at the strings to ensure she was still in tune while the patrons, mainly college students intermixed with some professors, found their seats.

Katniss was a recent transfer to the university. By some fluke, she’d received a partial scholarship for her academic achievements and had entered the Biology and Environmental Sciences program just this semester. The scholarship had been a godsend, for Katniss didn’t have much money. Never had she expected to get the chance to go to college, and she never would have been able to if not for the scholarship. Of course, college is expensive, and her scholarship didn’t pay all the bills, so she’d gotten a part-time job and had begun literally singing for her supper.

She sang, yes, and played acoustic, folksy, at times even bluesy kinds of music, a lot of sad stuff, basically. She played some covers but mostly originals, her originals being general, thematic songs meant to evoke strong emotions and visuals. Naturally, some of her songs were based on real-life experiences, and although she never directly sang about anyone in her life (at least, she didn’t mention them by name), there were heavy undertones.

Katniss took a deep breath and prepared herself, then motioned to the owner to indicate she was ready.

The owner of the coffeehouse, Darius, had taken a liking to Katniss’s music‒well, she suspected more so to her, but he wasn’t too pushy about it‒so, he’d given her regular slots on Thursday and Friday nights at 6. She often stuck around after for an inexpensive dinner.

Darius smiled at Katniss and approached the tiny stage. He stepped up onto the platform and moved to stand beside her. She did her best to ignore his awful-smelling cologne as he borrowed the mic from her.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he announced, “it’s my pleasure to present one of Panem U’s very own! She’s a recent student here, and for those of you who don’t know her, we call her The Mockingjay!”

Mockingjays were local birds that could mimic any song, and Katniss had been told she sang like a bird. That’s how she’d gained the nickname.

Darius glanced back at Katniss, grinning stupidly like a kid half his age with a crush. She motioned for him to get on with it.

“Well, seems our little songbird is eager to start singing,” he chuckled, “so without further ado, Panem U Coffee presents, our Mockingjay girl, Miss Katniss Everdeen!” As Darius finished his announcement, the place erupted in applause, not exactly raucous but not scattered, either. She was beginning to gain some popularity there.

But Katniss didn’t care about that. She just wanted to make a little cash. And if she could secretly release her feelings in the process, then so be it.

* * *

For the fourth song in her set, on a whim, Katniss announced that she’d be playing one of her originals, a song called ‘Dandelion.’ This song was a little more personal than the previous ones; she’d written it about someone who’d meant a lot to her.

It was a song about a girl and a boy, she told them. The boy had been the girl’s lifeline, that is until she’d severed the line herself.

Katniss started strumming the opening melody, and she began to sing, softly at first. She’d just sung her heart out in the first chorus when she lifted her eyes to see a pair of very familiar blue ones looking back, locked on her.

It was him.

As Fate would have it, there (not five feet away) stood none other than the very subject of her song, her old‒what should she call him?‒friend, flame, lover? Well, they weren’t really lovers, exactly, but he was certainly the closest she’d ever come to having one. Whatever he was to her back then, it was undeniably him.

Time had been good to him, she surmised, which was a ridiculous thought at their age and also because it had only been three years. But it had. He hadn’t changed much. Same stocky build. Same messy blond curls. Same incredible blue eyes. Just as beautiful as she remembered, maybe even more.

Katniss had stopped singing upon sight of him, and there she sat frozen, her fingers poised on the strings, her mouth rapidly filling up with cotton. She couldn’t even make a sound, let alone go on. So, she did all she could do right now, stare at him. Equally unmoving and silent, he stared back.

She should feel embarrassed by the show they were giving the crowd, but she didn’t. She wasn’t quite sure what she was feeling, in fact; it was definitely tumultuous inside. Had he thought about her over the past few years, she wondered.

“Katniss,” he finally uttered into the deadened atmosphere of the coffeehouse. The way he said her name hit right in the gut and twisted in a little.

“Peeta,” she said coolly, feeling anything but. She was about to rip apart at the seams, actually. It hurt bad to see him standing before her. God, it hurt so bad.

If it was this way for her, how did it feel for him? Maybe he felt nothing more than surprise. It wasn’t like he should be feeling anything good, not after how she left things. If anything, he should feel anger or nothing toward her.

I had to do it, she told herself. Yeah, she’d told herself that a lot over the years.

And then, she was recalling their last encounter…

* * *

_**Three Years Ago...** _

She’d just ‘broken up’ with him‒if one actually can break up with a guy who isn’t technically their boyfriend. And Peeta, he was clearly trying to keep it together, but he was practically in tears. She could always tell; his blue eyes took on that glossy look of ripples in the ocean.

He didn’t bother to question her, though, nor did he plead. He simply said, “They told me that you’d break my heart but, holy shit, they never said it’d feel like this.”

“Who did?” she blurted out.

“Some people...my brothers.” With a shrug, he glanced away.

“Your brothers?!” A fire lit inside her. What the hell did his brothers know? Why would they think she’d ever hurt him? Even though...that’s exactly what she was doing. Damn it. Was it inevitable? Had everyone seen it coming?

“What else did they say?” Katniss pressed, knowing she was handling this all wrong. Peeta only shook his head.

Okay, he wasn’t going to tell her, probably because he didn’t want to hurt her, even while she was ‘dumping’ him. But she could imagine…

His brothers (and others, most likely) had probably been telling him the same things everyone was saying. ‘That girl’s a mess.’ ‘Don’t get mixed up with a wreck like her.’ ‘Poor tragic, unstable girl.’ ‘Her dad died, and her mom’s mentally gone, and now she’s responsible for her family. There’s no room for anything or anyone else in her life.’

It was all true, really. But Peeta... No, she never wanted to hurt Peeta! Peeta, of all people, didn’t deserve this. Why oh why had she let him get to her like she had? She just couldn’t help it, she supposed. She’d fallen hard, not for his charms and his strong, solid body as most girls did, but for his goodness‒his goodness, his humor, his pure heart, and for the way he loved her. She really didn’t deserve him, and she knew it, and that’s why she had to right the wrong. Even if it stung, it was better to leave him with a scrape now rather than a gaping hole when he did something stupid later like propose to her...

Because she couldn’t be with him. She couldn’t be with anyone. She’d always be taking care of Prim and her mother, at least her mother. And she was never getting married. She couldn’t risk it.

But Peeta had gotten close, real close, so close that she was beginning to understand what her mom went through the moment she found out her husband had been blown to bits in that mine. And she didn’t want to turn out that way.

And so, she broke his heart in two and tucked away the pieces, never even thanking him for being the only thing that kept her sane all that time, the only thing, besides Prim, that brought any joy to her life.

* * *

_**The Present...** _

Katniss’s head whipped around as she came back to reality. “I-I need...I just need to take five!” she blurted out to the crowd just prior to slinging her guitar over her back and rushing out the side door.

It wasn’t surprising that Peeta followed.

They stood there in silence for a while, Peeta’s arms hanging limply at his sides, hers folded tightly across her chest.

“You must...do you...hate me?” she finally muttered, peeking up at him from beneath her lashes.

“No,” Peeta said. “Not at all. I‒,” he started to say something but cut himself off. He sighed. “I know you were going through a lot back then.”

She nodded. It’d been hell, but Peeta had made it so much easier. So many nights, being with him, having those strong arms wrapped around her in the dark was the only thing that kept her nightmares at bay and kept her tethered to reality, albeit a better one.

Katniss exhaled. She was so sick and tired of feeling shitty. Yes, her pain had lessened over the years, but she’d never been able to shake Peeta from her mind. She thought about him constantly. She didn’t know how she’d survived this long without him, actually, but she didn’t feel like she could do it anymore. Not now that she’d seen him. She didn’t think she could let him walk away again.

But what if he no longer cared about her? Maybe he’d moved on. Maybe he had a girlfriend, or several, in this very town. Well, at least he cared, or he wouldn’t be standing in the alley with her.

Nothing further was said, and all of a sudden, it was as if a dam had broken. Katniss didn’t know who made the first move, but they ended up wrapped in each other’s embrace. Thankfully, she’d remembered to remove her guitar at the last second, or it would have been crushed underneath Peeta’s solid form. Her head on his chest, she listened to the old steady sound of his heart beating, and tears welled up in her eyes, running down onto Peeta’s shirt, but he didn’t seem to care or notice.

“I’m so sorry, Peeta,” she blubbered.

“Yeah, me too,” he said, stroking her hair.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, it was supposed to be fluffy, but it got pretty angsty there in the middle. I may extend it, though, and if I do, it’ll likely get fluffier and more romantic. 
> 
> Sorry, I wasn’t creative with the university or coffeeshop names. 
> 
> Also, I know the announcement seemed more like Caesar’s thing, and I thought about changing it to him, but I felt like Darius would work well for the coffee shop owner with the semi-inappropriate crush on Katniss. He’s not much older than her, though, so it’s not too bad. 
> 
> Shall I continue?


End file.
